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“But one day a thing hapenned that shoudnt have happened: I met a Swedish man. His name was Patrik, and
Patrik and I fell in love with each other. At first, I was terrified of what this would mean to me and I
explained to him what conditions should apply. My parents were not allowed to know anything
about us anyway. ”

Quote from Fadime Sahindal’s speech from the first parliament conference about violence in the name of honor, 2001-11-20.
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Fadimas grav, Uppsala 2012-01-21

A Few Words About Discrimination And Violence In The Name Of Honour

Discrimination, oppression, threats and violence in honour’s name are everyday realities for millions of young people worldwide. In some countries, violations against chastity lows can be punished with death. In Sweden, today, over 100,000 young people are living a life without being able freely decide on their possible love relationships (according to research by government’s investigation, Carin Götblad, 2014).

Following the cases of honour killings of Pela Atroshi (1999) and Fadime Sahindal (2002), the phenomenon of oppression and violence in honour’s name has created a strong emotional social debate in Sweden. The two young women and later on the ninety-year-old boy Abbas Rezai (2005) were murdered by close family members because these adolescents wanted to live their own lives but it was considered a disgrace for their family. Nevertheless, violence in the name of honour is often misinterpreted as “men’s violence against women”, thus the explanation is losing the important dimension of the collective discrimination and violence against children and adolescents, primarily daughters. This may be a prohibition of love relations, strict clothing codes, gender segregation, compulsion and childhood marriage. Also boys and young men affected. Gays and bisexuals are also discriminated.

The young people in question either internalize or simply submit to the values and requests of the family’s honour. Yet in many cases they try to live a double life, in secret. To “clean up the shame” that is to restore the family’s honour can also be solved by forcing a daughter to marry (for example).

When it comes to honour killings, these are just the tip of an iceberg. The UN and Amnesty state that there are approximately five thousand honour killings committed worldwide, annually. At the same time, it is well known that most honour killing cases are recorded as accidents or suicides. “Kitchen accidents”, acid throwing or forced suicide (like cases of so called “balcony girls”) are different forms of honour related violence.

All this could be prevented in a democracy if our politicians in power were to ensure that the culture-specific collective norms that are in conflict with the individual’s human rights were changed. These norms and values are not genetic, but learned socially. Yet fifteen years after the murder of Fadime Sahindal, several decision makers admit that “we are coward” thus repeating what Mona Sahlin, former minister of integration acknowledged: “I have been coward, we have let the immigrant girls down” – June 8, 2001, Dagens Nyheter.

“But one day it happened that could not happen: I met a Swedish man. His name was Patrik, and Patrik and I fell in love with each other. At first, I was terrified of what this would mean to me and I explained to him what conditions should apply. My parents were under no circumstances aware of anything about us.

Despite the risks, we chose to start a relationship, although it meant that we could only meet within four walls and constantly live with the terror to be discovered. After a year’s relationship, we were tired of meeting indoors and sneaking with our love and began to become increasingly insecure.

We gradually began to show us together in places where we could be reasonably sure not to meet someone in the family or family. One day, our precaution caused us to be discovered by my father, who obviously exploded with anger and began to hit me and Patrik.

His reaction was fully understandable to me. As a father and family head, it is his duty to guard the family’s honor. He will protect and protect the sexual conduct of female relatives and ensure that the virgin’s daughters are preserved until the marriage. If the newcomer makes his daughters know that she is not a virgin on the wedding night, he can directly demand divorce. Even today, the blood stained sheet is handed to the mother-in-law of the bride, so that she can show her surroundings that she has received an honest and clean woman. As the family understood that we were a couple, they could quickly conclude that I no longer had my virginity. ”

Quote from Fadime Sahindal’s speech; From the first riksdagskonference on violence in honor of the honor; 2001-11-20.

A summary of the entire conference can be found at:
HumanRights.se ( INTEGRATION – PÅ VEMS VILLKOR? page 13. )

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What We Do

The Network Against Honour Related Violenceis a national umbrella organization in an international network that works for cooperation between voluntary organizations (NGOs) and public institutions. One of our main tasks is to create networks and build bridges between all those who come into contact with honour-related violence and oppression. Many of us also work specifically to help those who are threatened by honour related violence or arrange educational courses for authorities.

The second important goal for us is to influence gender equality and integration policies both in Sweden and in Europe in a direction that in the long term oppression, threat and violence in the name of the honorary eliminate will be eliminated. We tirelessly remind our rulers that norms and values are in not at all genetically inherited. Honour related norms and values and thus violence in the name of the honour could and should be abolished in a democracy. That’s why we need your support to intensify our work on “equal rights for immigrant girls,” as Fadime said, already in 2001.

About The Concept Of Culture

About cultures and the term “culture” (Latin, cultura – i.e. cultivation) has been written many books that fill many libraries. What we are interested in in the first place here is how culture is used as a form of exercising power, what freedoms, rights and identities a culture can offer the individual and what the consequences are in case of a breaking the cultural norms. Seeing and understanding cultural differences is a prerequisite for understanding the world around us, maintain many scientists.

How these cultural differences are interpreted or utilized in a political context, in order to create understanding, consensus or hostility between certain groups is another issue that not anthropologists or ethnologists should be held responsible for. In anthropology, culture is generally regarded as a coherent system of norms, values, traditions and typical behaviours that manifest in social action and transmitted from generation to generation. It is in that sense and not its aesthetic and artistic context the term culture is used here.

Would You Like To Become Become A Member?

Sweden’s new government has now abolished the important post for a Minister of Integration while gender segregation cultures continue to grow. So, theNetwork Against Honour Related Violence and our efforts to influence the responsible decision makers are needed more than ever. Therefore, we hope that you and / or your organization will support us by contributing ideas, dedication and cooperation in order to build a harmonious multicultural society without discrimination and violence in the name of the honour.

Through membership or donations (we lack resources) you have the opportunity to help us in our work for equal rights for all – including “immigrant girls” as Fadime Sahindal expressed it.

For Membership Please use: Plusgiro 452775-0

Individual Membership:	100:-
Organisation:	300:-

Video from our international conference in the Riksdag

My Virginity Is Not Your Honour – II.

To see the documentary click on the “Video” section